Top 25 Funny & Famous Tax Quotes
Check Out Funny Quotes and Get Tips on Staying on Top of Taxes
Tax time is challenging. Even if you’re receiving a tax refund this year, you probably still have some uneasy feelings about the entire process. Will the IRS come after you for a typo? Or find an unexpected mistake on your return? If you owe taxes or are dealing with a complicated situation, the stress can be even worse – especially if you're dealing with business taxes.
To reduce your stress this tax season, consider a bit of levity. Having a sense of humor when it comes to completing your taxes may seem impossible, but a lot of people have come up with funny tax quotes.
Check out these famous tax quotes. You might find them inspirational, insightful, or just a bit of fun.
Tax Quotes From Back in the Day
Here are some old but still so good tax quotes from years ago. How many of these do you relate to?
- “I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” – Milton Berle
- “This is too difficult for a mathematician. It takes a philosopher.” – Albert Einstein, on filing tax returns.
- “The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least amount of hissing.” – Jean-Baptiste Colbert.
- “Isn’t it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool’s Day and ends with cries of May Day!” – Robert Knauerhase
- “The taxpayer: that’s someone who works for the federal government, but doesn’t have to take a civil service examination.” – Ronald Reagan
- “Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.” – Charles Kettering.
- “If you get up early, work late, and pay your taxes, you will get ahead — if you strike oil.” – J. Paul Getty.
Bottom line – what's the message with these quotes? Paying taxes can be stressful. The process can even stump a genius like Einstein, and if you're struggling, it's time to reach out for help. Learn how to use TaxCure to find a licensed tax professional.
What Comedians Have to Say About Taxes
One of the best ways to reduce at least some of your frustration at tax time is to watch some late-night television or your favorite comedian. They have opinions on taxes, too. Check out these funny tax quotes:
- “I’m proud to pay taxes in the United States; the only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money.” — comedian Arthur Godfrey.
- “The U.S. Senate is considering a bill that would tax Botox. When Botox users heard this, they were horrified. Well, I think they were horrified. It’s difficult to tell.” – Craig Ferguso.n
- “You don’t pay taxes — they take taxes.” — comedian Chris Rock
- “Tax day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C., and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands.” – Jimmy Kimmel
- “It’s income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.” – Dave Barry
- “Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what’s called a red flag. That’s something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That’s a red flag.” – Jay Leno
- “Taxation with representation ain’t so hot either.” – Gerald Barzan
- “Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?” — humorist Peg Bracken
- “The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.” — humorist Will Rogers
These comedians touch on several different points – taxes are complicated, tax liabilities are often higher than they should be, and audits are scary. The answer to all of these not-so-funny tax problems? A licensed tax professional who can provide you with customized guidance and resolution services.
More Modern Tax Quotes
Take a look at some more funny tax quotes from modern times. These are certainly quotes that make you think!
- “I love America, but I can’t spend the whole year here. I can’t afford the taxes.” – Mick Jagg. e.r
- “This is the season of the year when we discover that we owe most of our success to Uncle Sam.” – The Wall Street Journal.
- “It’s deductible….Artists like me and a lot of rappers that I know, they literally take care of their whole family. And that's not tax deductible because the IRS don't consider that a business.” –Cardi B.
- “Death, taxes, and childbirth! There’s never any convenient time for any of them.” — author Margaret Mitchell.
- “Dear IRS, I am writing to you to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.” — Snoopy (character created by Charles Schulz)
- “The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them.” — Anonymous.s
What ties these modern tax quotes together? A sense that taxes are inescapable and there's often not a good time to deal with them. That leads a lot of people to ignore their filing obligations – if you're behind on filing taxes, it's time to get caught up and put this stress behind you.
A Few Serious Tax Quotes to Know
There are some outstanding, funny tax quotes out there, but there are also some important statements that you should think about as you work towards paying your tax bill this year.
- “Taxes are paid in the sweat of every man who labors.” –Franklin D. Roosevelt.
- “The government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.” – Ronald Reagan.
- “If anything, taxes for the lower and middle class and maybe even the upper middle class should probably be cut further. But I think that people at the high end — people like myself — should be paying a lot more in taxes. We have it better than we’ve ever had it.” – Warren Buffet.t
Regardless of your thoughts on tax rates and policies, you're still obligated to pay and file taxes, and in the United States, that typically means dealing with multiple levels of jurisdictions, including the IRS and your state revenue agency.
Tips for Making Taxes Easier and More Affordable
There’s one more important tax quote to think about before you move on, and that’s this:
“You must pay taxes. But there’s no law that says you gotta leave a tip.” — financial services firm Morgan Stanley.
In short, it is your responsibility as a consumer to file your taxes accurately, taking advantage of all of the tax credits and deductions available to you. By working with a tax professional, you gain more insight and guidance than trying to navigate it yourself. Most importantly, a tax professional can help you deal with taxes now and optimize your situation moving forward.
Hire a Tax Professional Now
It’s not a joking matter. Having a tax professional working for you means you know you are not overpaying. It also means that the uneasy feeling you have at tax time can ease up a bit. While these tax quotes and funny statements may bring a smile to your face, knowing you are not overpaying on your taxes can give you an even bigger smile. It also alleviates all of those financial worries you have.
If you're already facing tax debt, use TaxCure to find a pro to help you. Depending on the specifics, they may be able to amend returns to lower your tax burden, set up payment plans, or apply for a settlement on your taxes.